


Lost on You

by Justbeyourself205



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Artist Gerard Way, Coming Out, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Insecure Frank Iero, M/M, Oblivious Frank Iero, Oblivious Gerard Way, Questioning, Rejection, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis, Sharing Clothes, Smoking, bit of a slow burn, here we go again, so many feeings, soft frank iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justbeyourself205/pseuds/Justbeyourself205
Summary: Frank is so blatantly straight and Gerard is.. well, not. Which really wouldn’t be an issue except Frank is so undeniably cute that he leaves Gerard’s head spinning with this predicament.He likes the little scar between his eyebrows and his cute nose and his guitar playing and- Yeah, okay, he’s totally lost on him. Who could blame him really?
Relationships: Frank Iero & Ray Toro & Gerard Way & Mikey Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Lost on You

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I’ll admit that maybe a some of this is me ranting about the struggle of being gay around straight people. Also complaining about liking a straight person, which is always relatable.  
> I once again did not reread this, so if there’s any mistakes it’s because of that.

Frank is so blatantly straight and Gerard is.. well, not. Which really wouldn’t be an issue except Frank is so undeniably cute that he leaves Gerard’s head spinning with this predicament. It’s not like he’s flamboyantly gay, not what most people would think of, but he’s not so _very_ heterosexual in the way Frank is. It’s not even his fault, Gerard knows that, but it’s still irritating.

He’s met amazing men who are stereotypically straight but they don’t leave his heart aching in the same way. Frank’s got these big eyes and he smiles so big sometimes it looks like it hurts his face. Plus, it’s not like Gerard can’t like girls in the same way, it’s not like men are his only choice. But it seems to be completely overlooked by others when they find out he also likes men. He just likes people, it’s not complicated.

It doesn’t make it any less annoying when every time Frank barely touches him he has to comment a “no homo”. Like he thinks Gerard can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic affection. Which Gerard doesn’t even think he means anything by it, he’s always been cool with it since he was told, but it’s irritating. Especially coming from someone that Gerard aches for so much.

The rejection isn’t even intentional, not that he’s made a move where he can be rejected purposely. It’s the sly comments on if he thinks certain guys are hot that hurt though. And the grin when Gerard gives his opinion. It makes him feel like he’s being teased or made fun of, he’s not sure that he isn’t. It makes him feel like there’s a constant inside joke that he doesn’t get.

That’s kind of what straight people do though, right? Unless they’re sweet like Ray or mindful like Mikey. Or is Frank just an asshole? He wishes sometimes he wasn’t so bad at judging people correctly. But Mikey seems to like him enough to bring him around Gerard, which has got to count for something. Because Mikey, although the younger sibling, can be so overprotective sometimes.

Which Gerard can appreciate, he’s grateful for the caution towards not making his mental illness worse. But also, he feels like he needs to live a little without feeling guilty about it. Which, honestly, what does he have to feel guilty of? Socializing with people? Because the whole weed and alcohol things aren’t even looked on as a worry by Mikey. Perhaps because he does it too.

Plus, Mikey has this look when he’s around Frank. Enough of one for Gerard to let Frank in his special place of his basement bedroom. Not in the way that’d you’d think, Mikey is definitely straight, but it’s weirdly open.

And Mikey Way is definitely not open with anyone, which means something must have happened that Frank worked through correctly. Or at least right enough for the younger Way to be satisfied. Plus, Frank hadn’t made fun of Gerard for his stupid Star Wars bedsheets or his love for comics, which was relieving. By didn’t make fun of him, he means didn’t seriously tease him, there were some comments made.

But Frank is _cute._ Even cuter chilling on Gerard’s bed with his eyes all dark from smoking weed. He could almost shiver under that gaze, so curious and unintentionally heavy. Like his eyes were made to lure in whatever poor hopeless soul was willing to get hurt. Yeah, Gerard likes his eyes a bit too much, shut up.

He likes his lips too. And his lip ring, he wonders if it’s cold when you kiss him. He likes the little scar between his eyebrows and his cute nose and his guitar playing and- Yeah, okay, he’s totally lost on him. Who could blame him, really. Who could ever resist the charms of Frank Iero?

Unintentional charms too, the bastard doesn’t even see it in himself. He has the audacity to frown in the mirror or say he’s a mediocre guitarist and Gerard can’t even protest. Because if he protests, due to being gay that’s practically hitting on someone.

Which is weird because if a straight dude said it then it’d be some big compliment. Not that Gerard has tried to protest, he’s not sure how Frank would take it. If he did take it well then how would Gerard even react when his soft eyes are turned in his direction.

His brain would short circuit for sure, no doubt. And then he’d be looking like an idiot. A _gay_ with a crush. He’s a bit fed up with it all honestly, what even is it with straight men thinking gay guys are always hitting on them?

Like anyone with any other choice would want them, how gross. Honestly, number one way to judge a guy’s character, now that Gerard thinks about it. Maybe he should try it on Frank. Even though Mikey has said again and again that Frank’s not homophobic. It’s easier to tell when you’re a member of that community though, there’s little things that others might miss.

Mikey really doesn’t get it. He gets so frustrated when Gerard asks him about Frank’s character, when he complains about Frank being awkward about contact. Then he’s being told to shut up because Frank is a good person and maybe he just doesn’t want to touch Gerard.

Which stings, he will admit, but wouldn’t be the first time someone is disgusted by him. Maybe that’s what it is, Frank just wants to annoy Gerard until he snaps and goes away. He’s disgusted with him, that’s definitely it.

But Mikey will backtrack and say that Frank has been harassed before so now he takes male contact with caution. Which Gerard understands, but then a side of him also wants more information. Ah yes, the constant need in him to soothe issues and worries.

The thought of Frank being made uncomfortable makes Gerard ache, he hopes he never has to go through that again. And then he zones back in. There’s someone talking to him, oh yeah, it’s Ray. Damn, being stoned really just makes his mind take off, how disrespectful. He tried to latch onto his words but his soft voice is lulling his focus away again.

He’s glad to be in his room, looking around. He doesn’t really want to be in any public setting. It’s just the four of them, as it has been for a while. He guesses they’re all a friend group or something at this point. Frank has his eyes drooped, looking so zoned out as well, locked in some weird staring contest with Mikey. Ray’s voice gets a bit louder and clearer, “Gee?”

Gerard’s gaze snaps back to him, “Huh?”

Ray seems to sense he wasn’t listening but doesn’t seem to care, running a hand over his face, “I’m so high I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.”

Gerard smiles a little, “Yeah, I can’t even keep my mind in one place.”

Ray's eyes fall to Frank at that before jumping back to Gerard, “I noticed.”

And is he really that obvious? Mikey probably has been talking, even though Gerard hasn’t even told anyone yet. He doesn’t ever really need to tell his brother that stuff, he usually knows. Plus, Gerard isn’t even that subtle.

Ray goes to collapse down next to Mikey, striking up a slow lazy conversation with him. Frank moves, getting up unsteadily to fall into the spot on Gerard’s left side, “How you doing over here?”

He shrugs lazily, “How’d you get that scar?”

He touches between Frank’s eyebrows as a nod towards which one he’s referencing. The younger man presses closer, grinning, muttering those stupid two words before he says, “Performing.”

“You fall or something?”

He shakes his head, “I was playing on stage and some asshole threw a bottle right at my face. It exploded everywhere, we had to stop. Apparently it was for being a fag, which is what the dude yelled to me.”

“Homophobic jerk.”

Frank nods, ears going a bit pink, perhaps out of anger, “At least I got a cool scar from it.”

Gerard runs his thumb over the scar, “Scar from pissing off a homophobe. What did you even do?”

Frank shrugs, eyes fluttering at the touch, “Nothing. Apparently I just looked gay to him or something.”

Gerard grins, “Yeah, I can see that.”

He gets a big smile in return, “Shut the fuck up.”

He moves his hand away, not wanting to let his touch linger too long. He hates this whole thing where he has to be so self conscious around straight people, they’re so sensitive. Well, he’s making assumptions but whatever. Still probably right.

Frank’s eyes are still drooping, he’s looking up at him curiously, “What’d you think of Bert?”

Great, this again. Gerard shrugs, trying not to disturb how their arms and knees are touching, “He’s alright.”

“I think he’s into you. He was looking at you all night.”

“I didn’t talk to him.” He pauses, “He probably thinks I’m a girl.”

Frank giggles, “Oh yeah? Happens a lot?”

He shrugs, smiling a little, “More than you’d think.”

Frank considers him, looking over his face, voice going quieter, “Yeah, fair enough, I can see that.”

Gerard nods, knowing his looks are undeniably feminine. Mikey stands, grabbing blankets, an undeniable sign that they’re all probably gonna end up asleep in the next hour. He lays it out on the floor with pillows and doesn’t even say anything as he lays with Ray on it.

The two on the bed stare at them for a second, then Frank turns to him, “Time for bed?”

Gerard shrugs, “Where you sleeping?”

Frank considers then asks, “Can I just stay here?”

Really? A straight guy who doesn’t make a big deal about sleeping next to another guy. How unusual, Gerard is almost impressed. He nods though, not really caring. Then it creeps into his head that he has absolutely no control over what he does while asleep.

Frank was harassed before, Gerard hopes with all his being that he’ll keep his distance in his sleep. He doesn’t want Frank to forever be uncomfortable around him. The younger man was watching all these thoughts fly through his head, “You look worried, I can sleep on the ground if you want.”

He shakes his head, “Nah, I was just thinking. It’s alright, you can stay if you want.” Gerard gets up, “I’m gonna go smoke.”

The cold air bites at his skin but he savors it, thinking over how he feels about this. Frank hadn’t seemed uncomfortable about sleeping with him so maybe it’s alright. The door opens and he turns to find Mikey there, “You alright?”

He shrugs, “I’m good.”

Mikey closes the door behind himself, “You don’t gotta have Frank sleep next to you, I’ll switch with him.”

“I know. It’s alright though, I’m not worried about me. I’m just worried I’ll make him uncomfortable by accident, ya know?”

Mikey lights himself a cigarette, taking his place next to his brother, “You won’t. Frank is overly touchy, he’s alright with it. He wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t.”

It’s a fair point but he counters with, “But it’s different because I’m, well, me.”

“Gay? Frank doesn’t care about that.”

Gerard almost wants to yell it but it comes out quiet, “You don’t get it.”

“What is there to get?”

“If a woman asked to sleep in your bed and you were strictly friends would you not worry about making her uncomfortable?”

Mikey gives him a look, “I would simply _communicate_ with her. It’s not that difficult, Gee.”

“But guys have that whole thing where they’ve gotta be manly or whatever. They don’t communicate.”

Mikey looks unimpressed, “It’s Frank, who literally wears makeup, that you think is fragile about his masculinity?”

“Well it doesn’t exactly help that I _like_ him, Mikey.”

His brother wrinkles his nose, taking a drag, “I know, I know. You don’t even have to sleep next to him, just tell him you don’t want to anymore, he won’t care.”

“But I do want to. He’s so..”

He trails off, maybe looking a bit lovesick. Mikey makes a face, “You’re an idiot.”

“I know. Knock some sense into me.”

“You’ll sort through it, you have before.”

He shrugs, putting out his cigarette, heading back inside. Frank has already made himself comfortable under his covers, looking so small, leaned over as Ray talks to him. His eyes jump to Gerard when he enters, so big and wide. And Gerard aches, oh does he ache. Ray looks at him too and he wonders if he’s being too awkward. He makes his way, finding the spot between Frank and the wall. The other man turns over so he can face him, still looking at him with this weird soft expression.

He smiled weakly, “What?”

Frank shrugs, hair in his face, and smiles. It’s still so warm that Gerard doesn’t know how to take it. Mikey’s returned, turning off the lights as he makes his way to his spot next to Ray. Frank scoots closer, tattooed hand coming to splay out against Gerard’s chest, “This is great.. no homo.”

Fuck, Gerard is going to murder him, “Quit saying that.”

“Saying what?”

“No homo. It makes me feel like you think I’m stupid. I can tell between platonic and romantic touching, you know.”

Frank freezes, eyes getting wider if possible, “Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that bothered you. I don’t think you’re stupid, I just say it out of habit I guess. I’ll stop, okay?”

Gerard nods, relief falling into his expression, and Frank gives him a weak smile. He’s so pretty when he smiles, they’re here so close together. It’s dark and they’re sharing a blanket and Gerard’s shutting down all his thoughts.

It’s not the time for him to be wanting Frank, not when he’s so vulnerable in the dark. He’s not the kinda person to overstep boundaries, he’s letting Frank set them. The hand is still on his chest though, touch so light.

Gerard is suddenly hyper aware of Mikey and Ray’s breathing, hearing it slowly become softer and slower. He seems to be frozen like this, warmth seeping through his shirt from the contact, Frank’s eyes burning into his skin.

Not that he can really see him, it’s so dark, he swears he needs to start keeping something in his room for nights like these. Frank’s fingers shift and the calluses on his fingers seem to catch the thin fabric. Gerard doesn’t even know what to do, not sure what’s acceptable contact. What should he even say? Frank speaks for him, gaze no longer on him, “What do you really think of Bert?”

“What I said. Why, you into him or something?”

The question had come out naturally, a joke. Frank sighs a little, hand moving again. He lets his rough fingers rub over the fabric, “I don’t know.”

Frank sounds odd and Gerard furrows his eyebrows, hand coming up to grab right above his elbow. It stops his hand’s movements and Frank goes stiff, “You okay?”

And now it feels almost as if Gerard is keeping his hand on him, like he’s the one that initiated the contact in the first place. He releases Frank’s arm quickly, mindful that his response hadn’t been good, “Yeah.”

Gerard breathes a bit easier when his fingertips begin moving again, “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

Frank breathes out a quiet, “Insanely.”

And Gerard’s mind explodes in panic at that response, “You don’t have to sleep here then.”

Frank shrugs, moving close where they’re almost entirely against each other, “I’m alright.”

He makes Frank uncomfortable but the younger man is nearly pressing himself to his chest, he doesn’t understand, “You sure?”

Frank gently noses his way into Gerard’s neck, slumping against him finally, “Yeah. Hold me.”

It’s a weak request, almost a question. But if Frank’s asking then that must mean he’s okay with it. Gerard gently wraps an arm around him, mindful not to seem overbearing. He keeps it light so Frank knows he can get away if he wants.

He doesn’t seem to want to, snoring softly against him in minutes. Maybe he needs to be held in order to sleep? They’re practically cuddling, Mikey did say he’s touchy though. Are they cuddling? He doesn’t know what to make of all this. Instead of staying up all night thinking, his mind lures him into an easy sleep. He dreams of warmth and a certain guitar player.

He wakes up burning hot, flying into the sun in his dream and almost suffocating in the heat. He’s sweaty and at first he thinks it’s from his dream but then he realizes Frank has his entire body wrapped around him. And he’s burning hot to the touch.

He’s still asleep, expression at ease despite his high temperature. He’s got his head on Gerard’s chest, hair stuck to the back of his neck, also sweating. Gerard doesn’t even know how he’s not the one clinging to Frank, he’s spread out. Like he’s trying to escape from the warmth.

Frank twitches every now and then, hand sometimes tightening around where it’s on Gerard’s side. His cheeks are pink in the dim light, like he’s also overheating, even though his expression reveals no discomfort.

And then Gerard remembers that they’re not the only two in the room, turning to see Mikey and Ray sitting up with coffee cups in their laps. They’re chatting quietly, like nothing unusual is happening, but Gerard can’t tell what about.

His mouth is so dry, he shifts a bit to try and free himself from the younger man’s hold. Mikey’s eyes jump to him at that, mouth pressing into a thin line, but doesn’t deny him when he holds out his hand. The coffee is cold but it’s at least something, his mouth feels a bit less dry.

He feels like he’s got a world of whatever to say but it seems to get stuck. He’s never been a morning person, whatever. He doesn’t trust himself not to explode with emotion anyway, trying to get out of Frank’s hold. Instead he ends up waking him, his head jolts up in surprise.

Then he lowers it again, groaning as he peels himself off Gerard. He lays on his back next to him, rubbing his eyes tiredly. It feels like he took all the warmth with him, Gerard is left feeling almost cold. He doesn’t even know how to approach any of this, he guesses Frank can’t control what he does while asleep. Frank's voice comes out rough, still rubbing his eyes like he’s trying to hide, “I had the weirdest dream.”

Ray smiles, “You always have weird dreams when you go to bed high.”

“Yeah but I’ve never flown into the fucking sun before.”

That makes Gerard pause, looking at him for any sign of a joke. How could he have even known or guessed what his dream was? They had the same one. 

Frank moves one hand to look at him, “And you were there.”

Gerard’s voice cracks a bit and he winces, “We had the same dream. Except you weren’t there.”

Frank nods and, as if it were a normal thing, “You couldn’t see me.”

“Weird.”

Frank shrugs, “It happens.”

No, no it doesn’t, what the fuck. Frank’s looking up at the ceiling, cheeks still a bit red. Gerard frowns at him, touching his skin, which still seems rosy, “You have a fever?”

Frank jumps up, “Mikey I need to talk to you.”

And the younger Way follows him out without a word. Gerard looks at Ray, bewildered, who shrugs. They come back in a bit, Frank hopping over to sit next to Gerard with a brighter expression. He wants to ask if everything’s okay but it might ruin the younger man’s mood. He’s just not sure if he’s made Frank incredibly uncomfortable or not. The pinkness has mostly gone from his skin, weirdly enough.

He thought he was sick? This is not how things normally work, Gerard is so confused. He does look at Gerard with those soft eyes then and his brain does short circuit. He doesn’t even know what to say. He looks away, clearing his throat and trying to gather his thoughts. Seeing Frank’s tattoos still glistening with sweat is always an experience that’s too much for him to handle.

Especially after shows when he’s all relaxed and happy, he’s always so touchy with everyone and it’s too much. He’s too hot, Gerard has rarely ever met anyone so perfect. Mikey speaks like nothing even happened, “Got a headache?”

Gerard realizes he’s being talked to after too long of a pause, “Uh, no.”

He lets his eyes fall to his lap, feeling Frank’s eyes running over his face curiously. He wills away the pink that threatens to rise to his cheeks, Mikey replying a quiet, “Weird.”

Ray asks an almost too loud, “You okay, Frank?”

Gerard’s eyes snap to Frank’s face, the quiet atmosphere interrupted. Their eyes meet, sending tingles down Gerard’s spine. Frank seems a bit bashful now, looking down at his lap, and pink rises to his cheeks again, “Yeah.”

Wait, what’s going on now? Frank isn’t really the type to blush, what’s wrong? Gerard hasn’t even seen him blush that darkly when there’s a girl pressed against him, his stomach twists with worry. He follows the way the blush spreads downwards into his shirt and then looks away so quickly when he realizes. _Holy shit_. No fucking way, nothing has even happened, why is Frank so..

 _Aroused._ It sends butterflies into Gerard’s stomach at the mere thought of it. Did he not dream of what he said? Nothing’s happened, he doesn’t understand. And filthy thoughts are filling his head, he starts trying to identify patterns on the wall as a desperate attempt to stop them.

This is not right, it’s not right for him to think of Frank that way. Especially not because he’s straight, so straight, very very straight. He almost yelps when fingers are brushing his, looking over. Frank looks at him worriedly, questioning, so innocent. Oblivious to it all at least. Gerard presents his palm, flipping over his hand so Frank’s hand can slide into his. It feels so right, he observes the younger man’s tattooed fingers compared to his pale ones.

Frank squeezes, calloused fingers running once over the top of his hand and it does more to Gerard than he’d like to admit. Fuck, he needs to shut up his needlessly horny brain. Frank is not like this because of anything he did, it was a dream. Had to be.

The younger man looks away, still grasping his hand and Ray clears his throat, getting up, “I’ve got work so I’ve gotta go.”

Frank looks to the time, jumping up as well, breaking contact, “Oh shit, me too.”

They leave in such a hurry that Gerard barely registers that Frank had given him a kiss. Granted, on the cheek. But what the fuck, what even is that? Frank’s never showed any signs of that type of affection. Or is it a one time thing, an I slept in your bed last night thing?

Fuck, when Gerard thinks of it that way it sounds absurd. Frank, who Gerard is only kinda close with, slept in his bed. Frank. The guy way too cool to even be noticing Gerard, let alone be kissing him on his cheek.

Definitely way too cool to be texting him a few days later asking to hang out sometime. Gerard feels like he’s not being told something, what’s being kept from him? He’s always out of the loop, always the isolated one.

He doesn’t get it, why Frank would want to hang out with him. He’s just about the lamest person ever and Frank is, well, Frank. He says yes but he’s hit with the fact that he’s got an art final coming up. It’s almost painful to ask Frank to come to his place instead due to a project, it makes him feel like he’s the one whose time is valuable.

He’s really in no place to be making adjustments to plans, he should’ve just shut up about it and said yes. He feels like a huge weight has been lifted on his chest when he’s told that it works. Fuck, he promises to go over to Frank’s place another time. Next time, perhaps.

He’s honestly never been to Frank’s place before. He’s pretty sure that the younger man has his own place, he vaguely recalls Frank yelling that he’s free. Right, because his parents are strict Catholics. Gerard really hopes he has his own place.

Frank shows up in a hoodie much too big for him and traces of eyeliner around his eyes, looking up at Gerard with his big eyes. Fuck, he almost dies on the spot, he probably looks so terrible in comparison. It’s odd for it to just be the two of them, which hadn’t really been specified but it was an unspoken thing.

It’s also weird for Frank not to be stoned while in his room, he worries about what he’ll think. His wide eyes just run over the posters on the walls and then fall on the canvas set up, “What do you even have to do?”

Gerard looks over at it as well, feeling awkward, “A painting with two original characters.”

“What characters have you made?”

He shrugs, “No idea, I’m just gonna create them as I go.”

Frank grins boyishly, “Rad.”

The younger man finds his way to his bed, sitting comfortably and Gerard notices the way the hoodie seems to practically suffocate him. He smiles a little in amusement, teasing, “That sweater seems a bit too big for you.”

Frank looks down, like he doesn’t even know which one he’s got on, “Oh. Yeah, it’s Ray’s. Don’t complain unless you’re offering yours, Way.”

Gerard practically buzzes with the thought of Frank wearing something that’s his, “What, you just stealing everyone’s clothes now?”

“Not stealing, _borrowing._ Get started on your painting, pretty boy. Before I actually steal yours.”

Pretty boy? What, where’d that come from? He still turns to the canvas as told, getting his paint and paintbrushes ready, “It’d be your funeral, I don’t think I have any clean ones.”

He can practically see Frank shifting and fidgeting behind him, he can never sit still, smiling to himself a little. The younger man for that exact reason asks, “Can I turn on some music?

Gerard nods, caught up already in laying down a primer on the canvas. Frank goes over and puts on the Carpenters. The fucking Carpenters. He tilts his head to the side, letting out a pleased sound, “It’s like you know the way to my poor little heart. Now this painting is definitely gonna go well.”

Frank huffs out a laugh, “As if you can’t paint to anything and have it turn out great.”

“For the record, I am a terrible painter.”

“Still better than me.”

Gerard hums, “I could teach you.”

He hears Frank sit back down on his bed, looking to see him smiling softly, “In exchange for what?”

“Your company.”

Frank laughs again, “That’s all? You had the perfect change to take advantage of me. Try again.”

Gerard raises his eyebrows, starting to form shapes with the paint, “You’re acting like you want me to take advantage of you. What’s on the table?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t have anything to offer.”

A part of Gerard screams for him to ask for a kiss. But then that would ruin everything, he can’t ask for that. Things are too good now, he’s barely getting to know Frank all alone. He shrugs in response, “You can play me a song.”

“Like any song?”

“Something you wrote, preferably.”

He can just imagine the doubt creeping into Frank’s expression, “It’s no good.”

Gerard scoffs, “Please, the Pencey stuff is amazing.”

“But written with other people.”

“I want to hear what you have to say, Frank. Please? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

The younger man lets out a long sigh, “Right now?”

He shrugs, “Whenever you want to.”

Frank is quiet for a bit and then says, “What about.. a kiss? Instead?”

Gerard never frozen so fast in his life, paintbrush hovering over the canvas, “What?”

He can imagine Frank being all smug about his reaction, not willing to turn and look though, “Yeah, a kiss. That alright?”

“Why would you want to kiss me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then I don’t think I should. Seems like a bad idea.”

Frank’s voice gets softer, “You don’t want to?”

Gerard does look at him then, seeing him sitting there and looking at him with big sad eyes. He sighs, relaxing a bit more, “Of course I do, look at you. If you’re not sure then I don’t want to take advantage of it.”

“I already told you that you can take advantage of me.”

Gerard grimaces, “Frank.”

Frank huffs, “Then don’t. I’m just curious.”

Gerard turns back to his painting, frowning, “What about?”

“Boys. You.”

Gerard sighs, not even sure how to approach this whole situation. Superstar is on in the background, he hums along to it quietly. He lets himself be absorbed in the painting for a bit.

He gets the comment, “You should be a singer.”

He smiles, “Maybe.”

“I could just imagine it. I’m sure you’d be great.”

He shrugs in response, hearing Frank moving behind him. He turns his head, met with the feeling of warm hands sliding onto his waist. He freezes up, “Frank?”

He gets a hum in response, low in his throat. He turns, hands falling to grasp onto Frank’s wrists. The younger man looks up at him through his eyelashes, asking a quiet, “Please.”

Gerard smiles weakly, “If this is how you get girls to kiss you then I’m not sure how it works. I said no. Which means don’t come over here and put your hands on me.”

It’s surprisingly stern of him, he doesn’t even know how he gets the words out. Especially since he’s been practically dreaming of this happening. But boundaries must be kept, he might’ve said yes if it weren’t for Frank doing this. It’s almost disrespectful, his answer shouldn’t have been taken as a debate. Frank does release his waist, eyes going wide, “Shit, I’m sorry.”

It’s like Gerard’s words had made him realize what he was doing, he retracts his hands back to his sides quickly, looking ashamed of himself. The older man shrugs, “I’m just not the kind to want to be your experiment.”

Frank covers his face with his hands, looking incredibly embarrassed, “Fuck, I’m sorry, Gee. I wasn’t thinking, I shouldn’t have just- You said no, I understand.”

Gerard gently pulls his hands away, smiling softly, “Just don’t do it again. Don’t beat yourself up over it either.”

Frank’s cheeks are pink, “I’m still sorry. I swear I don’t usually do that, I just-“

Gerard’s grin widens, “Shut up, Frankie. It’s alright. You’ll find other boys to kiss, ya know? You’re like anybody’s dream.”

Frank looks at him with wide eyes, “Am I?”

Gerard almost wants to shake him, “Fuck yeah, Frank. Have you seen yourself?”

Frank gives him a look, “Yeah. I’m not anything special, I’m just me.”

Gerard frowns, “Fuck, you’re blind.”

Frank smiles at him and it warms up his entire expression pleasantly, “And you don’t want me?”

Gerard shrugs, “I don’t want to be an experiment. For the sake of my sanity, go out and kiss a few boys. And if you still like them then come see me, alright?”

Frank considers this, “But I haven’t really been finding most guys attractive.”

“Everyone’s got a type. And you could just have a preference for women, you don’t have to find every man attractive.”

Frank raises his eyebrows, “And if I just find you attractive?”

Gerard laughs a little breathlessly, “Then I’m lucky.”

Frank grins, cheeks going rosy, “Alright.”

Overall the rest of the day goes fine, Frank spreads out on his bed and they talk for hours. Until the younger man falls asleep at least and a quieter album gets put on. Frank does take his advice, he sees him kissing some guys, grinning at the way that it’s always Frank crowded against the wall.

He already knows it’s a lot different than kissing a woman, there’s more of a dominance issue and men feel different in general. He remembers his experiments with men before he officially came out, smiling. He lets Frank sort it out, not really giving any comments on sexuality, and neither Mikey nor Ray comment on Frank’s actions.

It’s just one of those things you’ve got to figure out on your own. It’s not even brought up when they smoke, Frank doesn’t show any hint of trying to make a move either. A part of Gerard is convinced he’s no longer wanted, but then Frank is asking to hang out.

Alone. Great, he doesn’t know how to deal with this and he begs Mikey to help him figure out what to wear. His brother looks unimpressed, “He literally just showed up last time in a hoodie and jeans, why are you so nervous?”

Gerard frowns, dragging an eyeliner pencil over his waterline, “What if he kisses me?”

Mikey still sounds bored, “You’ve kissed guys before.”

“But not _Frank._ The motherfucker is like way out of my league.”

“Nah, I think you guys are just right for each other.”

Gerard frowns more at his reflection, “You’re crazy.”

“You’re the crazy one here. If Frank kisses you then that means he likes you. Which means you don’t even have to worry anymore. Especially if you fuck.”

Blush rises crimson on his cheeks, “ _Mikey_ don’t fucking say that. We’re not going to fuck.”

Mikey shrugs behind him in the mirror, “You might.”

“No way, Frank hasn’t even been with any guys before.”

“You don’t know that.”

Gerard squares his shoulders, “Shut up.”

“You’re the one that asked for my help. Don’t make me text Frank.”

He turns around quickly, scowling at his brother, “Don’t you dare.”

“I’ve been texting him all day anyway.”

“About what?”

Mikey smirks, “He’s nervous too. You’re both such losers, get together already.”

Gerard huffs, “We can’t if you don’t help me.”

Mikey grabs seemingly a random shirt and jeans and shoves them in his direction, “Wear this and a hoodie. Bring an extra in your car too, Frank likes that stuff.”

“Yeah? You think he’d want to wear mine?”

Mikey looks at him like he’s dumb, “You’re hopeless.”

“Jeez, I’m sorry, can you really blame me for being nervous?”

“Yeah. He literally already told you he wants you.”

“Well he didn’t say that exactly-“

His brother shakes him by his shoulders, “Gerard, get it together. He did and you know it. Just take it easy, okay? Things will work out.”

He nods, going to change. He looks at himself in the mirror, wondering what he did to deserve Frank’s interest. He feels like he’s trying too hard, he looks like he’s trying too hard. He regrets everything.

There’s a knock on the door, “Hurry up, dummy, you look great.”

He takes a deep breath, coming out to grab a hoodie and a second one as told. Mikey smiles at him, making him grasp him into a hug. Right, if Mikey is encouraging this then it’s probably right. His brother would never mislead him, he trusts in that.

Mikey squeezes him, “Go get your man already.”

Gerard makes a face, letting him go, leaving with the comment of, “Gross.”

Frank opens the door looking like he’d just been sleeping, hair all messy and looking tired, “Hey.”

Gerard smiles a bit, “Hey. You okay?”

Frank rubs his eye, matching his smile, “Yeah, just tired. Come in.”

Frank’s place is warm, it makes no sense that the younger man has got a sweater on. He looks so cute, all sleepy, stretching so his sweater comes up to reveal smooth tattooed skin. Gerard’s mouth goes dry and he distracts himself by looking around.

Everything about it is so.. Frank. He feels like he’s been wrapped up in a safe hug, taking in the simple furniture and the unorganized stack of comics. Frank almost makes him jump by speaking, “I made coffee.”

Gerard accepts the mug he’s given gratefully, settling on the couch. He looks at the comics, reading which ones the younger man has, “And you called me a nerd, I didn’t know you read comics.”

Frank sits next to him, looking over the titles as well, “I didn’t used to. You guys talk about them so much I figured I might as well try and understand.”

Gerard smiles down at his mug, “That’s sweet.”

“I just hate being out of the loop.”

“You like them?”

He feels Frank look at him, “More than I thought I would. Are you uncomfortable?”

He takes a drink of the coffee, centering himself, before he responds, “No.”

Frank’s hand comes to grip onto his sleeve, drawing his attention, “You sure?”

Gerard looks up at him, seeing his concern, “Yeah. I could go for a smoke though.”

Frank nods in agreement, getting up. They stand in the cold, not speaking as they smoke. The younger man keeps looking at him uncertainly.

After about the fifth time Gerard asks, “What?”

Frank looks away bashfully, “I don’t know.”

Gerard takes a drag, “You look like you have something to say.”

Frank shrugs, his nose is a bit red from the cold, “I guess I do. Does the offer still stand?”

Gerard can’t help but play innocent, “What offer?”

Frank gives him a look, “If I find myself still into guys then I can kiss you or whatever?”

“Well, do you still like guys?”

“More than I thought I did.”

Gerard smiles, “Cool.”

Frank huffs, turning to face him more, “That’s it?” Gerard shrugs and Frank frowns, “Do you take it back?”

The insecurity that creeps in the younger man’s voice hurts. Gerard takes a drag, “What do you think?”

Frank shrugs, “That you do, you haven’t made a move.”

Gerard grins, “The deal was that you come to me, Frank.”

“And what, just randomly kiss you?”

“Did you think I’d reject you if you did?”

“So I could now?”

Gerard rolls his eyes, stepping carefully into Frank’s space, leaning. Their noses brush, the shorter man’s eyes fluttering closed. Gerard smiles, “You’re really not one to take the initiative are you?”

Frank opens his mouth to answer but Gerard is shutting him up with a kiss before he can speak. Frank’s hands fly to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down so they can kiss easier. Gerard complies, hand coming instinctively to land on his waist.

Frank is so warm against him, he gives his whole being into the kiss, like he isn’t some tattooed punk in a rock band. He’s soft and relaxed into it, the coldness of his lip ring drawing Gerard’s attention. This just feels right, so perfect and slow. He’s a bit shocked by how compliant Frank is, he expected him to have a bit more fight in him.

He admires how Frank is such a different kisser than he is a person. They part and the younger man is looking at him with wide eyes, almost a bit breathless. Gerard smiles crookedly, “It’s cold out here, let’s go inside.”

When they get inside he feels too warm, pulling off the hoodie as Frank’s eyes run over him unashamedly. The younger man’s eyes are glued on the hoodie and he grins, offering it. Frank takes it like he wasn’t eyeing it before, rubbing the soft fabric in his hands.

Then he pulls the sweater he’s wearing off, revealing smooth skin. Gerard is a bit shocked that he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath, taking in the tattoos. Frank glances up at him before he’s slipping the hoodie on, covering up once again, “Thanks.”

Gerard tilts his head, admitting, “I brought an extra one in case you’d want it but that works.”

Frank grins so brightly at that, fingers messing with the sleeves. The hoodie is much bigger on him, it doesn’t help that it’s a few sizes too big for even Gerard. It exposes his collarbones, the sight making his throat tight so he looks away. Frank’s arms come up to wrap around his neck, he mumbles a quiet, “One more.”

Gerard wraps his arms around his waist, taking the chance to let his cold hands adventure underneath the hoodie, feeling him shiver. He pulls him close, kissing him warmly, humming softly. Frank relaxes into it, going on his toes so Gerard doesn’t have to lean down as much. He laughs a little, breaking it, “You’re so short.”

Frank makes a face, “Not really.”

Gerard pulls him closer, “Short enough. Gonna hurt my neck having to lean down so much to kiss you.”

Frank smiles, “Then don’t.”

Gerard shrugs, “It’s worth it.”

Frank pecks his lips, still smiling brightly, “You’re probably the best kisser ever.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.”

Frank wrinkles his nose, “Sure.”

“You don’t believe me?”

He shrugs, Gerard backing away to sit with his coffee again. Frank sits in the spot to his side, leaning into him, “You’re ditching me for coffee.”

He smiles, moving to hold the younger man’s hand, “I’m not, you’re right here. I get you and coffee.”

Frank grins at him, “You get both, so lucky.”

“I know, I know.”

Frank takes a sip of his own coffee, now that they’re relaxing more his tiredness seems to return. His eyes droop again, snuggling more into the hoodie.

“Why are you so tired?”

Frank shrugs, “Couldn’t sleep, stayed up all night.”

Gerard nudges their shoulders together, “Want to take a nap?”

Frank releases his hand, moving to make grabby hands at him, “Take me to bed already.”


End file.
